This may be blasphemous, but my mom said I could post it since no one reads my blog anyway.
Preface: Mom, Sam and I went to the mall today. This was not like shopping with your friends because Mom was sickly-tired and Sam...is a boy. This being the case, they literally went into one store and proceeded to the Food Court to wait for me. I promised to make a quick trip to just Forever 21, which as you well know can be no shorter than 30 minutes.
About 20 minutes into my shopping, I receive a text from the contact Sam Roweton...
: "Get ur fat birthday butt back to sam and sue" - GOD
ME: God? I have your number in my phone as Sam? Can you forgive me Lord?
GOD: Sam let me barow his phone he is so cool right and also i will not forgive u unless u get back to sam and sue ps - deer mary plz just admit u cheated on me this is kinda getting out of hand - joseph
(Guess God's not big on spelling...since he invented language and all. Also, I guess Joseph wanted me to relay the message? Not sure there.)
ME: Hahaha :) Awesome. I'm going to pop in Vicky's Secret and then I'll head your way!
GOD: Head sams way i wouldnt get any thing to reveeling in there i dislike skanks
ME: :) Yes Lord. I shan't even look at the panties.
GOD: Alright cool hey i hear ur turning 21 is this true
(Like God wouldn't KNOW.)
ME: Yes Father...
GOD: Get totally wasted bro
These are the small delights I take in my daily life. And they are so delightful.